A speech I wrote a couple of years ago, inspired by this play:

by a good friend and long-time collaborator, Matt Harper, which I eventually produced with my theatre company in January this year.


Woman with clipboard leads audience in, speaks to V.

W            The, prospective students…

V             Yes, thank you. (To students:) Take a seat. (Waits.) So. Welcome to university. And all of that. Some of you will be sitting your finals, some hoping to get certain grades to get in somewhere, etc., you’ll, no doubt, be swatting up on various things, chemistry maybe, law, higher maths, what kind of angles are in a triangle.

And good luck with that. May the powers that be smile upon you. If they do, I’ll see you in September.

Some of you will be writing your personal statements, trying to impress us with your use of grammar, and your witty anecdotes.

Which is fine. That’s great.

But where I’d like to start is this. I want you to come to me in September, and bring the following. Make a note. I want you to bring pictures you can’t stop looking at. Even if its porn. I want songs you can’t help but move to. I want old clothes that make you feel sick with nostalgia, numbers of people who drive you up the wall, whatever makes your Christmas. I want you to come to me and say Vanessa, help me. I want you to cry on my shoulder. I want to play with your hair. I want to know what makes you tick, because I want to do it for you. I want to be your GOD. Because how else are we going to get through this.


You can watch the other character-specific trailers* for Person-in-Law, along with other videos from Six Lips Theatre, here.

*These fantastic trailers, as with most of our best videos, are by Paul Richardson of Parashoots. Check out his work, he is a brilliant film-maker and someone to watch. (And so are his films, obviously.)


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