Ode to the Ouse

In honour of William McGonagall,the writer of the worst poetry in the English language

Oh my dearest River Ouse,
How you teem with gulls and booze
And bodies who, now filled with both,
Would surely tell you by their troth
That safety really should come first
At least before one’s competitive thirst
For macho points and gainly attentions
From wenches of ungainly contentions.

Such acts are met with poorly kudos,
The loyalty shy and the respect the crudest

And when your watchers’ demands are met,
What can you do but pretend the choice to let
The gulls and booze and bodies sway
To the conclusion wiser people keep at bay

Oh my dark horse River Ouse,
You can keep your gulls and booze.

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