Letters I Should Have Sent #1

Dear Mr Besson,

I am writing to you today to submit a proposal for your wise perusal and consideration. I really like films and I think I’d be good at writing one. In fact I have actually written a whole one and even printed it out for you to have a look at, look. (Behind this letter.)

Being a very established director, and my personal favourite – I knew you were the man for the job.

I have a particular actor in mind who I know would do our project justice. The very serious practitioner Gene Hackman, I feel, would be perfect for this role.

Basically, Gene would play a spoon who is dunked into a vat of sugar against his will. This is obviously a very demanding and complex role, one for which we would require Gene to partake in an intensive rehearsal period. I suggest putting Gene inside Stanislavski’s ‘Black Box’, where he cannot see anything and so is more easily able to imagine himself as the spoon.

I know some directors who usually work in a similar way, such as Mr Mike Leigh, who makes films using actors as rubbish as Sally Hawkins. So if you don’t like my idea, I can always go to him. After all, I don’t think Mr Hackman speaks French, so this is probably a flawed idea anyway.

I would appreciate some feedback on my idea; preferably between half and three-quarters of a side of A4, as I get a bit distracted towards the end of a page. This letter has been quite a struggle for me. Obviously I will take all your points into account when making my decision, and I do hope to work with you at some point, because I hear you make nice pancakes.

Thank you for your time. You can go back to your life now.

Yours most sincerely,




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