I want to write about exes right now. Ex-partners. Ex-love interests. Ex-friends. Ex-housemates.
I feel sad to lose touch with people I’m in any kind of relationship with. Obviously some affect you more suddenly or more obviously than others, while some creep up on you over time and tap you on the shoulder now and again when someone updates their Facebook and reminds you how far apart you are. It doesn’t even feel appropriate to comment, or even ‘like’, does it? ‘Like’. The lazy/insecure way to show you kind of want to be in someone’s life, and you kinda like how they roll, but that’s all you have to say about it really.
Well, appropriate it. Make the first move. I believe that if you saw something special in someone to begin with, it usually stays there. Perception changes over time and, listen now, that is about it. We, as people, don’t change much otherwise. Hips and bums come and go, social circles flux, ideas get shuffled around and we adjust. This is life. We, as organisms, have our own solid traits. Trust me, my dad’s a doctor.
The point is this: Personally, I think it’s nice to stay in touch with everyone you’ve had a moment with. Impossible? Sure. But not entirely. If you think about it, I’m sure you can recall a special moment with pretty much everyone in your life. Anyone whose gaze you’ve held for a second, anyone who’s smiled at you, anyone who’s cried on your shoulder, anyone who’s passed you awkwardly getting out of a lift. But. They were special. Right? Just for a moment. The MOMENT… was special. I like that. But I also believe in soulmates. I believe in people containing something special that connects perfectly with other people’s inner pieces (not innuendo, but if you can’t get past this you’re probably about as mature as I am and I appreciate that), and it’s important to adhere to those connections when you find them. If someone looks nice, tell them. If you don’t want to leave, don’t. Be more honest. If you’ve broken up with someone for one reason, don’t make it another. Don’t make things bigger or more unpleasant than they are. Everything is solvable, and understandable. It really is. You are perfectly fine as you are and you will go and do wonderful things with your life.
As I’ve said before, I like to think you can stay in touch. I do think you can. I think you can be civil and make up with anyone at any point in your life. You can even be friends. You can do anything you like, and I am happy to be one of those people who not only speaks to their exes with common decency, but actually holds them in high regard. Sure I’ll moan about them, but only as much as about anyone else, occasionally, and with good intentions. Whatever I saw in them before the relationship evolved, or faded, it didn’t go away. There was some reason I fell for this person, let them in, showed them a certain side of me. And I like to honour those qualities.
Here’s to everyone I used to be close to, those I still speak to and those I don’t. You are on my mind. I will always love you, one way or another.