Tuesday Round Two

Been asleep on and off all day. Couldn’t find the energy to stay up. Been feverish. Got up, showered and dressed, then collapsed again. Been dreaming vividly since – Nearly Mama came in to see if I was alright, and later the doctor came and there was a small group of people looking concerned and examining me. They took blood and then told me to wee where I was, because I couldn’t move and they needed a sample. Both these times it took me about sixty seconds or more to force my body to move so I could respond. The more I tried to get up, the harder I was pushed down. I was completely paralysed. It felt like I was opening my mouth for a few seconds at first, but then the familiar realisation came that I wasn’t. None of this actually happened, though at the time it was real enough that I went along with it. I spent another full day of doing in my head, though I have been laid here since 1:30am last night. Terrifying and incredibly frustrating. Feel out of it tonight, but happy with life apart from that. Ding ding.

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