I don’t know what’s happened to us lately.
It used to be that, after a day at work, being shouted at or given shocked stares about prices of popcorn and other petty trials, you were my saviour. I’d come home and talk to you – and you’d always be online because, let’s face it, it’s what we lived for in those nice and confusing two months. We’d talk and talk about nothing until we found ways to compliment each other and draw the conversation round to praising each other, it should have been obvious to us that we were totally in love. Maybe we were aware, I guess I was, but my head was playing coy with me.
I still get butterflies thinking about you. I stare at you at work, you have no idea how much I look at you, just at every opportunity, whenever you pass me, I just watch you for as long as you’re in my line of vision. You’re so beautiful in ways I can’t describe… You’d think it strange. But watching you work, seeing you get on with the new people and have a laugh with your close friends, get jobs done, and especially when it’s busy and you come onto my area to help, like that horrible shift when you got left alone in box office. I love you so much then because it’s so clear that you love me and you want to be near me and help me out and look after me. It makes me want to cry thinking about how much you care for me. You are really right when you say you love me more than anyone has or will. And you do it so well.
Please ignore me when I’m rude to you for helping me. I always used to say when I was little that I’d never need a man and I’d have my own career and be the best in my chosen area, and when I had babies I’d open a crèche so I could keep working the whole time. I’m daft like that.
I was looking at my writing and thinking how it would make a really boring bit of literature or drama… How trained is my brain!? But I think and hope that, given our closeness, every word I have to say is interesting to you. Each letter is hopefully the beginning of an insight into how we work and feel about each other. I don’t think anyone can ever truly know another person fully, and they can’t know anything about their relationship unless someone says something about it directly, rather than guessing from what we do together and how we talk about other things. I think it’s a two-way thing, a lot of people forget that, and I don’t want to make any assumptions, and I want to be completely open and honest with you always, because that gives us a better chance of surviving any hard times. As I said, we may be fragile people, but as a couple we’re rock solid. I am so looking forward to spending my life with you. I love you.